wow 2 in 1 day :)

I don't know that I have ever experienced the heart of God as much as I have since Ruby Blue came into my life.  She is such a joy & such a terror at the same time.

There have been times in the last few months when I have literally been in tears because her behavior has been so naughty and just downright defiant.  She is completely outdoor trained now, finally at 1 year old (in a week).   And let me tell you, it's been a long road and we've had to sacrifice quite a chunk of carpet to the cause.  Well, the other day, she looked straight at me and squatted on the floor and peed! 

One day last week when she was being completely rotten, I said "Ruby Blue Faith! How can you be so rotten and so adorable at the same time?  How can I love someone as rotten as you?"  Then I thought to myself, does God ever look down at me and my behavior and think, Robin Danielle Faith, how can I keep loving someone as rotten as you?

Ruby Blue loves me unconditionally.  She loves me immediately after I discipline her.  She knows when she's done something wrong, she is sneaky and smart.  If she gets a swat or she goes to time out, she is itching to get right back to mommy. (even if it was daddy who did the punishing!)  When I come home or get up in the morning, it's like I have been gone for DAYS, she lavishes me with kisses and she is frantic to get into my arms. If Bruce is home when I pull up, he opens the door with her in his arms and she looks like a wind up toy on speed...all black fur flailing as she paws the air trying to run to mommy but not able to get out of daddies arms.  I'm constantly covered in scratches from our exchange of what's in my hands to his so I can take her.  But I don't feel them.  Since I can't have children, I imagine it's close to what mothers must feel.  It's similar to the joy I get when Becky runs to me or Kaleb says "hey Wobin!" or when Morgan opens the door and gives a gasp of joy or when any of my nieces or nephews hugs me and tells me they love me.  But Ruby Blue is never mad at me.  She always wants me. Even as I type, she is sleeping on me.  She started off on the back of the chair where I am sitting, but her hind end is now on my shoulder, if I were to move, her whole body would fall.  When I sit on the sofa or lay in bed, she curls up next to me and as the moments pass, she presses in to me.  The other day, as I was thinking about writing all this, the phrase "presses in to me" stuck in my head.  How many times have we heard the phrase, "press in to God" when we are in need?  I've heard it a million times if I've heard it once.  I always knew what it meant in my head, and I've had much opportunity to practice it over the years and especially this past year.  But suddenly, I have this new visual of "pressing in" and I am so excited because I love it when something practical relates to something spiritual (as it always does, when we open our eyes!)

here is Ruby Blue in time out last night, trying to worm her way off the chair and over to me

Conversations at Exit 0 (6/6/10)

Yesterday at Exit 0 I was standing next to the lunch table enjoying the unusually cool afternoon breeze and just listening to the chatter around me.  A fellow (whose name I don't know yet) walked over and asked me what kind of apples we were serving.  I said I wasn't sure what kind but I was sure that they are good!

I said "you know what they say, 'an apple a day'" as he rubbed the skin against his t-shirt.

He said, "I think it's more like the good Lord keeps the doctor away, you know what I mean?"  I said that yes indeed, I agreed wholeheartedly and that prayer makes a world of difference, as he was walking away.  For some reason that seemed to bring him back for more conversation.

He said,  "You know, it's true, even when you aren't doing ok. You know what I mean?"  I said that I did.  "No really, really do you know what I mean?  What do you think I mean by 'Not doin' ok?'"

I said "You mean, you aren't praying the way you think you should and being obedient".  That got me a smile and a head bob that said I was right.

After a second he said, "Let me give you an example, say your coming out of (and forgive me, I don't remember the name of the place but it's a racetrack) and you've lost your last $30 and you know it's wrong and God don't approve and you want to pray but you think 'I can't.  I done wrong and I can't pray and it aint about the money but I just can't pray'.  But you go ahead and pray and even though you don't get the money back, you feel better, you know what I mean?"


I told him I knew exactly what he meant!  I said "it's not like we can hide anything from God anyway.  He already knows our hearts, but He wants us to bring it to Him anyway."  That got me the fist butt handshake thing.  Even though he never told me his name, I sort of felt like I made a friend on Sunday.

When we had gotten everything loaded up and a few of us were still talking to Paul & Michelle, a man came over and asked for a drink.  He did not want any food, just a drink.  Paul got him a bottle of water and asked where he was going.  "I'm going to heaven" I heard him say.  I heard Paul say "That's wonderful, it's a beautiful place".  The man said, "I was on my way once, but my sister came, people are always interfering"......

I didn't get to hear the end of that conversation.  But it has stayed with me.  Where was he when he was on his way to heaven?  Under an overpass? In a hospital bed?  Did his sister keep him from going to heaven then leave him all alone?  I can still hear his voice when he said it, it sounded (to me) almost joyful.  I want to sound that way when it's my turn to say it